To whom? A shattered mom.
I was in a hospital today, taking one our relative to the eye care department. There was this mom before us who was for a consult for her 4 and a half year old daughter. And for some reason I was drawn to the whole set up, as earlier also I saw her distraught face on being attended by a junior doctor, she just wanted to see the very best and was again in the room after a long wait. We were in the same room as our number was next.
I was not only eavesdropping but minutely observing her for some reason. As soon as the doctor confirmed her daughter has squint, I saw real pain in her eyes, on her face and in her being. As if the world just came down around her. She couldn’t listen to the doctor after that, when the doc suggested against surgery, when the doc said that she would like to rather work on the vision, when she said it could be because of anything, weakness in recent past, high fever or any other illness. For those moments it seemed her world just ended.
I followed her out of the room leaving my people there. I heard her talking to her husband with all that the doctor said. And in those few minutes she came down to blaming herself, she kept on saying the doctor said it could be because of mere weakness; I don’t understand; Really. I should have been more careful etc. etc.
I could see where it was going, it was not her words but her face doing the talking. I for obvious reason was imagining my parents in front of the doctor getting the news of their daughter having squint. And random memories kept flashing in front of my eyes. How I was the cutest child with specs since 2 years old. How as I grew up and had a lot of people teasing me for the odd look I had in my eyes. How my parents just shooed all that away and made me stronger. How they were conscious when marriage talks started. How they were conscious when someone suggested I can be a specs less bride and for one minute I wanted it too but dad was dreaded. How TBH wore specs in our marriage even when he could have done without it just to make me feel comfortable. How the beautician kept on saying, eye make up ka kya fayda if you are going to hide it with your specs. All that and a lot more.
Next, I saw the same mom walking towards the elevator. I went to her and said I need to talk to you for a sec. I said, ‘I am sorry I overheard your conversation with the doctor and saw your face. I just want to say that I have lived with a squint and I know how it matters or doesn’t. All I know is that its on parents to bring their children in such a manner that they are not conscious about it. Your four year girl will not even remember this day but you need to forget this. It is no big deal. It won’t matter if you are strong. I said I now know how my parents brought me up and how it never affected my personality, my confidence. I said if you will be conscious of her, she will be too.’ And with tears in my eyes I shared my heart with her. She smiled at the end, said it helped, the couple thanked and I apologized for interfering in a personal matter.
Glad I did otherwise the talking in my head would have kept my sleep away for days to come.