Or what you don’t want your birthday week to be.
First of all who decides the birthday week? Is it the one which ends with your birthday; is it the one which starts with your birthday or is it the one in which your birthday falls in between like the fourth day of the week. Or it’s on us to choose. I would rather have a two week celebration, yes I am that excited about my birthday.
I have been reminding TBH for a while know, and I don’t let my people forget it or miss it that easily. I want my special everyone to wish me.
Anyway I am on the current week with my birthday just two days away. The only good news have been bestie one delivering a healthy baby boy. Apart from that i had this horrible cough since the start of this week. I have been attending guests. Cooking enormously for them. Managing their medical requirement. And cribbing my heart out. And above all listening to their great experience as a guest at somewhere else or how I should cook certain stuff to make it taste better. The worst of all I might end up spending the whole of my birthday in a hospital and all what I had envisioned this birthday to be has already gone down the drain.
I know TBH would compensate soon enough but that day would be gone. He is so occupied in his work that the magic I wanted is just not there. I know I should be happy that I am supporting someone in their need but it’s not making me any calmer. More so because last year I spent the day all alone. Sudden travel for work happened for TBH promising me to return on the d day but promises are meant to be broken and I turned down all celebrations offers from friends because I only wanted to celebrate with the better half that being my first birthday post our marriage.
So that left me more eager to celebrate this one with him. The guest arrival was not all sudden, we got to know it few days back but what we did not know was their trip would be extended and I would need to attend them solely. Going to hospitals depresses me to no bound.
What I thought it to be was something like this – spending one day at a saloon getting pampered and going for something new for my hair. Going for a spa day with TBH. Spending two days shopping my heart out. Eating a different flavored cake/pastry every day of the week. Going on a surprise two days romantic outing with TBH. Specially planning the nights. Wearing my first ever dress kept for this birthday but now that has to be postponed along with everything else. I want to cry so hard and loud but that needs to be postponed as well.
I knew I shouldn’t have kept any expectations but I am unable to help it and all my feelings. I am very bad at feigning as well, my mood swings are on my face. I so wish my birthday was some other time and not this week.
And now I am crying, I thought writing this would help but no. I thought one thing I would learn by this birthday is to control my tears but not that isn’t happening too like everything else. And the guilt of being selfish, interested in vanity when there are much larger issues in life and sabkuch bus I am feeling very upset.