The screwed week

Or what you don’t want your birthday week to be.

First of all who decides the birthday week? Is it the one which ends with your birthday; is it the one which starts with your birthday or is it the one in which your birthday falls in between like the fourth day of the week. Or it’s on us to choose. I would rather have a two week celebration, yes I am that excited about my birthday.
I have been reminding TBH for a while know, and I don’t let my people forget it or miss it that easily. I want my special everyone to wish me.
Anyway I am on the current week with my birthday just two days away. The only good news have been bestie one delivering a healthy baby boy. Apart from that i had this horrible cough since the start of this week. I have been attending guests. Cooking enormously for them. Managing their medical requirement. And cribbing my heart out. And above all listening to their great experience as a guest at somewhere else or how I should cook certain stuff to make it taste better. The worst of all I might end up spending the whole of my birthday in a hospital and all what I had envisioned this birthday to be has already gone down the drain.
I know TBH would compensate soon enough but that day would be gone. He is so occupied in his work that the magic I wanted is just not there. I know I should be happy that I am supporting someone in their need but it’s not making me any calmer. More so because last year I spent the day all alone. Sudden travel for work happened for TBH promising me to return on the d day but promises are meant to be broken and I turned down all celebrations offers from friends because I only wanted to celebrate with the better half that being my first birthday post our marriage.
So that left me more eager to celebrate this one with him. The guest arrival was not all sudden, we got to know it few days back but what we did not know was their trip would be extended and I would need to attend them solely. Going to hospitals depresses me to no bound.
What I thought it to be was something like this – spending one day at a saloon getting pampered and going for something new for my hair. Going for a spa day with TBH. Spending two days shopping my heart out. Eating a different flavored cake/pastry every day of the week. Going on a surprise two days romantic outing with TBH. Specially planning the nights. Wearing my first ever dress kept for this birthday but now that has to be postponed along with everything else. I want to cry so hard and loud but that needs to be postponed as well.
I knew I shouldn’t have kept any expectations but I am unable to help it and all my feelings. I am very bad at feigning as well, my mood swings are on my face. I so wish my birthday was some other time and not this week.
And now I am crying, I thought writing this would help but no. I thought one thing I would learn by this birthday is to control my tears but not that isn’t happening too like everything else.Β And the guilt of being selfish, interested in vanity when there are much larger issues in life and sabkuch bus I am feeling very upset.
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21 thoughts on “The screwed week

  1. Santulan July 15, 2013 at 11:39 am Reply

    One musn’t feel guilty for being selfish. It is understandable to have aspirations and demands of your own especially for times like birthdays. However, are they over bearing or not, is for you and from whom you demand to decide.

    I hope you have a better birthday than how it is turning out to be, and that your cough goes shush

    • onehonestwriter July 15, 2013 at 9:51 pm Reply

      Hmm cough is much better today but I am trying not to think about the birthday and failing at it. Though one thing for sure, won’t be required to be in hospital atleast.

      • Santulan July 15, 2013 at 9:56 pm

        How does one send you chocolates?

      • onehonestwriter July 15, 2013 at 10:54 pm

        Oh my, I so hope my blog was capable of receiving tangible items too :). this gesture has definitely lifted my sprits. But i have to say no to that.

        You know I just feel like jumping even with the thought if receiving gifts. Last year when I was alone I ordered random items online for myself so tht I keep getting gifts all day long πŸ™‚

        Thanks a ton Santulan πŸ™‚

  2. kismitoffeebar July 15, 2013 at 2:18 pm Reply

    It is perfectly normal to feel low OHW, considering your health as well. And I am a lot like you in the sense, I keep talking of my b’day and get hyper about being born πŸ˜›

    Just a little trick. Change it to bday month. Works wonders for me πŸ™‚

    • onehonestwriter July 15, 2013 at 9:52 pm Reply

      I don’t know. I don’t see it working in any which way this time 😦

      • kismitoffeebar July 16, 2013 at 6:50 am

        Hang in there OHW. It will get better πŸ™‚ And soon you will be telling us about it πŸ™‚

      • onehonestwriter July 16, 2013 at 10:23 am

        I am keeping my fingers crossed πŸ™‚ You guys really help in times of distress πŸ™‚

  3. vishalbheeroo July 15, 2013 at 2:56 pm Reply

    Have an awesome budday and why guilty? We are all selfish in one way or another and no harm in desiring things we love.

    • onehonestwriter July 15, 2013 at 9:53 pm Reply

      hmm.. but as of now it stands far from awesome. And I am elaborating writing about how I keep pushing myself in a guilt trip.

  4. Visha July 15, 2013 at 6:53 pm Reply

    After the worst days, the most awesome days come.

    You are going to have a superb birthday πŸ™‚

  5. onehonestwriter July 15, 2013 at 9:54 pm Reply

    I do hope so…. and thanks you really good at cheering up. πŸ™‚ And also the last line from your latest post is still in my mind πŸ˜›

  6. vishalbheeroo July 15, 2013 at 10:30 pm Reply

    You should not! Go with the flow aur itna mat soch:)

  7. Jazz July 15, 2013 at 10:42 pm Reply

    Aww take care of yourself and have an awesome birthday celebration when you feel better.

    • onehonestwriter July 15, 2013 at 10:49 pm Reply

      It’s not me, I m okay. The cough is much better now but some relatives who r here for a treatment :(. How do u say no to medical requirements. You can’t 😦

  8. Little Fingers July 16, 2013 at 7:23 am Reply

    I think we can make a day happy or sad, it’s in our hand. It’s perfectly ok for you to feel the way you are feeling. Don’t think you should celebrate your b’day only that day, you cab celebrate anytume, like you said for next two weeks..

    it’s been a month since our anniversary and though we had personal time with each other and other random dates , he is yet to take me to my fav resturant to feed me my fav food- eggplant Parmesan . I am not making a big deal knowing we can make it when we can, I want to go on a day when we both are relaxed and can have a romantic date night than finishing it on the day in a hurry, will that make you feel better?

    Hugs sweety!!

    • onehonestwriter July 16, 2013 at 10:29 am Reply

      It definitely has, you are right it could be any day. Just hoping it comes sometime soon.

  9. greenboochi July 16, 2013 at 1:33 pm Reply

    Oh OHW.. hugs hugs hugs 😦 I can so understand what you are going through. Sometimes, its ok to be selfish and you need not feel guilty. Atleast that makes it one emotion down.

    I had this same feeling around S’s birthday last year and its not good. But when we celebrated it, it was the best.Hope you get to enjoy your birthday soon. It would be more than perfect and happy when it happens. Now smile.. πŸ™‚ hugs again!

    • onehonestwriter July 16, 2013 at 2:37 pm Reply

      smiling πŸ™‚ today is a much better day πŸ™‚

  10. techie2mom August 23, 2013 at 10:28 am Reply

    Hugs OHW, i am happy that finally you enjoyed your b’day (and had a great belated b’day celebration too)…Hope all coming b’day weeks will super-duper for you πŸ™‚

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