As long as I can remember I have been on the wrong side of the weighing scale. Even with all the exercising, aiming for healthy lifestyle, getting fit together with TBH – I have not lost that extra weight. I have turned more active, my body got some sort of shape which wasn’t absolute round, my health improved (periods got regular/pcos subsided/ others stats got better) but I did not lose numbers on scale after a certain period of time.
I wrote this post a long back but never posted it here. And while thinking for what to write for today’s letter, this one again strike me, and I reread it again and found it still so suitable, word by word.
It started with being called chubby then it became healthy gradually it progressed to overweight and now from past few years it has been fat. Yes I am fat and I have no qualms about accepting it. Its been the case since my teens. Somehow unlike a lot of my friends and cousins I never felt depressed about it except for very rare cases when I go for shopping and something I really like don’t fit because of my size, but that happens with all of us! Right? I never considered fatness and ugliness as synonyms which unfortunately a lot of people do. Some time back I was talking to one of cousin, who is now a mother of two adorable boys, convincing her to come for a family wedding. In the list of her excuses of not been able to make it, one was her being fat. She was like, I feel so upset with my weight, I hate my pregnant looking tummy; I am tired of the paunch, I don’t want to look bad in the wedding. And it was not just an excuse, she has done everything to get rid of her tummy but nothing has worked to her favor, nevertheless she looks beautiful to me. She has special grace in herself, only if she would just smile a bit more than frown on her extra kilos.
I have always been complimented on my dressing sense, the way I carry myself despite my weight. I don’t want to sound boastful but yes, at times I look beautiful too. There were people at my workplace who would daily check me out complimenting me every single day. This used to happen in college too. There are few friends who consider me their shopping advisor. I feel sad when I see weight in girls is made such a big taboo, lowering their self-esteem. And the way girls take it, as if life has ended for them. The point I am trying to make is all of us can look beautiful despite our physical shortcomings – fat; skinny; dark skinned; short heighted etc. etc. Though they say it is the way you feel about yourself, if you feel you are beautiful, you look beautiful but we know the reality lies much beyond that. Surely feeling positive about oneself adds charm to your persona but does not imply looking good. Probably I should list down a few things I know for sure works for us, no gyan, no philosophy, and few observations sheer out of experience.
For us, the big size girls, definitely wearing what the normal sized girls do doesn’t help. The biggest problem is not understanding what suits our size best and the issue aggravates by the fact that Indian markets do not have a lot of options for the +size. But still some efforts and you will find cloths of your choice.
First listing out few blunders to be totally avoided for big size:
- Wearing those tight busted Tshirts, even if they are your favorites don’t come out of bed/room/home wearing them. They look awful with your flab trying to make your way out of the cloth. And those tires, and the sight if we bend down – eee just avoid them.
- Short ts when your side flabs peeks out
- Pencil fit denims
- Wearing loose sleeveless cloths/tops. Sleeveless can look better if they are well tailored.
- And worst of all, wearing short kurtis over leggings/chudidars; if you like wearing short kurtis, try them over patiyalas/semi patiyala or even salwars but NO chudidar.
- Wearing big checks/big print patters/horizontal strips make one look broader.
- Very tight short sleeves/half sleeves when your fat forms a shape around it.
Few suggestions which make us look really good:
- Wearing a bit, only a bit loose, hip length t-shirts, with sleeves folded once
- If possible go for ¾ or full length or smartly fit arm lengths sleeves for your tops/kurtis
- At least knee length kurtis on chudidar/pyjama/leggings
- Go for straight fit denims over pencil fits
- Capris also looks good on us.
- If you have broad shoulders, flaunt them – off shoulders and boat necks really suit us.
- Play more with accessories – bags, foot wears and scarfs – so that the attention gets divided there.
- Girls – remember scarfs/stoles are a saver to hide your heavy busts or that fat belly
- Open/ loose shirts/jackets with a good fitted spaghetti/bundi looks good as well
- If your face is big, try keeping shoulder length or longer hair
- And last but most important, always carry a smile on your face please, believe me that does magic.
The list can go on, it just that we got to be a little more observant and open to experiments. And avoid copying what normal size people wear around us. I advocate this thought so much, that I told my parents clearly I won’t definitely lose weight to find a prospect. They have to accept me as I am. That should not be a judgment criterion. And when actually my marriage got fixed, relatives starting asking me, try losing weight so that I look better in my wedding. Obviously the way I am, I did not. I was a Big Fat Indian Bride, and by all standards I was looking beautiful. My parents actually played very smart and found a exact match :). No one could have better complimented me size wise – life wise – thoughts wise as TBH does :).
It’s not I don’t want to get in shape, I too want to lose weight though not for getting slim, but to get fit, get healthier, for not facing any health issues and definitely not with the sole objective of looking beautiful, the title says it all. I am Fat and Beautiful and pretty happy in my being.