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At my parents place

Some of you are aware that my last blog post was from my parent’s place. Some of you are kind enough to drop me an email or a comment asking my whereabouts, thanks a ton guys. It’s in time like these that we realize how special our blog world is. Let me start it from where I left.  For the first time since my marriage I was at my parent’s place for a month, minus a week when I stayed at my SIL’s place in between. Penning down some highlights from the trip.

Fasting – Feasting

Our annual fasts were about to start the next day I landed there. For the first time in around 15+ years of observing them, I was having a hard time managing my control. It has to do something with the heat and something with being at home. During all the past years I was either studying or working owing to which fasting was much easier but this time I was in home and also with my in laws for a week where I had to cook partially.  I realized that in the name of control some people go over the board and get ten different items made because there are few we can’t have. Eating once during the day has to be the most unscientific way of eating. We end up consuming more oily/heavy food in those ten days. People get over finicky and hurt others behind the fasting veal. Because of hunger or mood swings or the compulsion to do certain poojas the temples become the most restless place during those ten days. Our religious gurus, well most of them, live in some earlier times and preach things which are not possible or even practical in today’s world. All in all not a good experience. And I am not sure if I am gonna observe them from next year, and even if I do not anywhere else than my place.

The Parents

It’s overwhelming to see both of them getting old (no not that much) and managing their lives without you. Their small fights, their arguments, their discussions, their hard time managing the younger sibling, endless guests, their difference of opinions, their sharing their heart all touch you more. During one conversation I told this to mama, and she heard me. She totally got me, she said we lead a wonderful – busy lives. We have a beautiful family, we share a lovely relationship and still when the married daughter comes home, because of the love, relationship with the elder sibling, tuning we share; they end up sharing more issues with them and leave an impression that this is what their life is. In fact, it is far from that. She said it was the same case when she used to visit her parents and after that both of them really tried to change this.

The Sister

She is my biggest weakness and I have never hidden that fact. Her each and every action has a ripple effect in my life. I lose my control, calmness and everything else when it comes to her. I am also guilty of over interfering in her life and somehow I can’t control that either. I am genuinely working on that problem. I know for sure she needs to learn few social behavior traits. She needs to be more available to her own family and learn to priorities better. She is always running out of time, misses a lot of family related activities, keeps on procrastinating simple tasks that dad asks her to do still almost every other day she spends some couple of hours watching her favorite shows. And most importantly I think she is required to add ‘Gratitude’ in her dictionary.

On a positive note, she has turned into such a beautiful, opinioned young woman. Her personal venture is going steady and the future looks promising.  She has found a field where her heart lies and doing some great work there. For those who are interested she is a freelance photographer specializing in Kids Photography. She has the talent and the will, getting good response and is quite popular on Facebook. And it’s difficult to express how happy that makes me feel.

Work related

The reason I stayed there for so long was majorly because TBH had to travel for work, for longer duration this time. So I planned my classes, I took up 3 weeks training assignment at one of the institutes in my hometown.  The response was good, students do get inspired by me and work accordingly but it’s them who have to make it going after that. The way they waste their precious student years learning nothing, yet dream about a job makes me go all red.

For everything else I need to learn to manage, there is a lot in my plate and constant travel and other engagements hampers my time management.

Meeting my People, Shopping and eating out

I made a big list of people I was looking forward to meet during this visit. Friends. Faculties. Alumni. Work Acquaintances. Few relatives. But all went on a toss first because of fasting, second in-laws extended stay, third undue rains, timing of my classes and lastly my constant mood swings for some reason or the other. I tried to compose myself during the last leg of my stay but it was getting difficult for me without TBH by my side. TBH is my stress buster. He keeps me grounded. He is my mood swing manager. He is the reason for my constant smile.

Shopping was also not to my heart’s content but I ended by buying few suits for Diwali time festivities. Eating out was also restricted. Could manage to explore only a couple of new places this time.

The end – Beautiful and Unexpected

TBH was due to come to my hometown during the last phase of his travel for some bank related formalities and we planned to travel together to Delhi. But his travel kept on getting extended, his arrival kept on getting delayed and when we could bear no more, we decided that I would join him in Chennai and planned a ten days work-leisure trip. My trip ended midway and I ended up buying one of the most expensive domestic travel ticket of my life.

Our trip looked something like this – Chennai – Pondicherry – Tutikorin – Munnar – Mangalore – Bangalore – Delhi. We covered Pondicherry and Munnar, both different style beautiful places. But Munnar – must visit, and a place I immediately fell in love with. I planned a candle light dinner for TBH with the hotel management in Munnar as an advance birthday treat, amidst valleys and soothing waterfall sound. It was one of the most beautiful time we spent together.

Finally Home

We reached home after a month and half on TBH’s birthday morning. Look who welcomed us in our bedrooms’ bathroom.

 Image

We managed to shift them without breaking in a shady area on our apartment roof, where they keep some water and food for birds.

One friend said – Tum nahi toh koi toh reh raha tha tumhare ghar par.

And 2-3 relatives said – it’s a very good sign. Now we don’t know about that. What do you think?

P.S – I have been reading all of your blogs, will resume regular blogging – commenting only post Diwali. We don’t even get to stay for a whole week at our home before we travelling again to TBH’s hometown for Diwali.  

Smelly To Smiley! and Finally feeling like Home

I love those contests where I do not need to crop a fictional story in my head or tire my brain muscles with a brilliant out of the box idea. I love the type of contest concepts when it becomes mere sharing my personal and memorable experience. Yes it does become embarrassing at times, but who cares. After all blogging is one space where we can be totally honest with each other.

So it’s about us, me and TBH and our beloved home. TBH was living in this nice big fully furnished flat from some time now or he thought so till I entered his life. That place was no doubt nice, but it was too packed for my taste. As the owners were living out of country we also could not dump their stuff somewhere else. That also gave a feeling of a used home, I mean I never felt it’s mine, it always felt as if I am using someone else’s space.

So the house hunt started and luckily for us we got a great deal in the same area which was our preference. The house had large window panes, large balconies, spacious, modular kitchen, and tasteful POP work in the drawing room. To our delight it also came with a centralized air conditioning system and above all has never been occupied before, and that gave a feeling of newness I have been looking for. The building secretary assured that though the owners have been kind of choosy with the kind of people they want as occupants, and that’s the reason the house has been locked for close to a year but he also added that we seem to be a nice couple he will give his word too. And a month later we got the keys to the house.

We were happy to indulge in the newly married things, setting up a home, choosing curtains, furniture of our liking. Organizing and using the cutlery our parents gifted us etc. But there are few things that you realize only after you start living in a place. No it wasn’t a haunted house like they show in the Hindi movies but it was a smelly house. A very acrid peculiar smell. It was mostly around the entrance of the house so in turn extended to the drawing room which was just next to the entrance.

It was a big setback. We kept on reasoning out and finding our own solutions. First we thought it is because the house has been locked for such a long period. We started letting the windows and doors open for long hours each day despite the cruel Delhi winters. After a week we realized it is not having any effect. We thought may be because of the centralized AC thing, they needed to be cleaned. We called the technicians and the ducts were religiously cleaned but no success their either. We nearly stopped using the first room of the house. We started keeping a basic room freshener just near the entrance, as soon as we are expecting someone or if our entering a locked house from the outside we made it a habit to spray copious amount of freshener. It was a kind of funny ritual, if both of us our out, one would enter holding the breadth, pick the freshener and spray it so that at least the other person is saved from the torture. It gave some relief at least temporarily, making our entry to the house a bit more bearable. As it is we had to stop using that room.

We had to gradually adapt living with it. There were days when some guest commented on the smell and we had to lie, it made me cry. You can clean the dirty floor, clear the clutter, make the house dust free but you cannot do anything physically to the smell. Once one of our decorative bulbs stopped working. It was those dim light attached to the POP which came already fitted when we rented the place. So we never had to look there. We called the electrician and to his and horror there was a dead bird stuck in there. I can’t explain in words what a creepy feeling I got realizing the fact that all this while I have been living and eating under a dead bird. But it also bought a sheer of relief because I assumed the smell was due to that. I got that area sterilized. Used a disinfectant to clear the whole house. But two days later the haunting smell came back to us. That was it. So much so that we decided once our three months advance rent period is over we will think about moving to another house.

Around two months passed but the smell did not vanish. The sister was due for a visit. She is extremely finicky about smells, cleanliness, and dust. I was actually nervous for the first time to have her around. She came, she smelled and she made a face. I was really feeling bad, but could not do much about it except for again spraying different fresheners even before she used to wake up. A couple of days later she accompanied me to regular grocery shopping and bought this Ambi Pur Set & Refresh. She said she has seen it at a frAmbi Pur Set & Refreshiend’s place. I was totally unaware of something like that. I mean it a Set & Refresh thing. You just need to set it and it continuously keeps spraying perfumed oil on regular intervals. Isn’t it great? Though it comes in various fragrance but the Lavender Vanilla seems to be our personal favorite and also of the guests who come to our place. The machine is so small and aesthetically designed that it looks beautiful even in our drawing room. We also put it off when we travel or just like that for some days, and you will not believe the peculiar acrid smell from where it all started has automatically vanished. May be it just needed time, but the Ambi Pur kit saved our grace during that time. I am away from home otherwise would have happily shared my drawing room pic. For now, Pic courtesy: www.google.com/images

You might want to visit their Facebook page for more details.  Indiblogger and Ambi Pur India is also giving away free sample if you have not already experienced the difference.

And finally for us it felt like home.