Tag Archives: Learnings

What motherhood has taught me!!!

It’s been only seven months of being a mommy and I think I am, already a changed person. A couple of hours back we came back home after running few errands. I was very very hungry, the food was prepared already but I patiently waited to feed Bunny and he felt sleepy. I had to further wait to let him sleep soundly. The earlier me would not have done it at all, if not proper food, I would have asked TBH to put anything in my mouth.

In the afternoon right after when Bunny woke up from his nap, TBH was holding him. He made some funny noise and Bunny was totally startled. He started crying loudly, I came rushing, held him tight and calmed him down. It took him few minutes to come back to his normal self. The earlier me would have bombarded TBH with accusations.

In the same situation the earlier me would have started crying with Bunny. Infact I did cry in the initial few weeks, each and every time Bunny cried for no apparent reason.

It has made me a positive person, we are consciously working on creating positive environment for Bunny. And my faith is only getting stronger when I see how Bunny’s behaviour changes, catching our temperament on some specific days. For the very same reason you see me complaining less and less these days.

It has made me really grateful to God. When I hear about tough conceptions, tough pregnancies, difficult deliveries and postpartum period, i thank god for giving me a healthy pregnancy, healthy baby and a very supportive family. Despite being extremely over weight, despite having PCOS and despite not doing anything vigorously for my weight management.

It has made me strong and bold in very subtle ways. I think have become stronger just to let him face the big bad world out there and bold with regards to clearly mentioning my decisions and choices in bringing him up.

One thing I picked up early after being a mom was being less and less judgmental about parents and babies. Even a single casual remark about babies leave huge impact on the new parents, – has he lost weight, he cries a lot na, seems he is hungry, you don’t produce enough milk, his legs seems bent, how much he pees, etc etc. Like I said a causal unthoughtful remark from near strangers and your whole day is wasted in worrying about it. Each parent only wants best for the baby and if you have made certain choices for your comfort also, it’s completely fine. Moms are not Gods. And no criticism or opinion sharing unless I know the whole story.

And as an extension to the above point, I have a new found respect for my both set parents. What we are today, we owe it to them.

It has definitely made me a fast worker and a multi-Tasker. I realise I can do so much in so little time. Though the list of to dos is never ending, but nevertheless in Bunny’s multiple half an hour nap sessions I have started prioritising and dividing tasks to be more effective.

Started feeling less guilty for no fault of mine. If I am out with friends and Bunny needs to be fed, I don’t need apologise, or when I need to cut an important conversation because my baby has just pooped or when we are late because I dint want to disturb Bunny’s sleep. You get the drift right?

Also have learnt to be prepared for the unprepared. Like when you are almost ready to go out, everything has been perfect though out the day, you make the baby ready, you change yourself, the husband is ready, you take the keys, go to the lift and right there the baby poops with a big loud weird sound and weirder expression. And while changing diaper he not only gets dirty himself and needs a whole change of cloths but pees on your dress too. So being prepared for the unprepared is the key.

Last the feeling of letting it go, big biggest change so far. Letting go of a lot of glitches, fears, ego clashes, useless talks, taunts, unnecessary complaints just to make infinite space for love :

While he sleeps – part two

bunny sleeping

I have slightly progressed from month one (somehonestwriting.wordpress.com/2014/08/28/while-he-sleeps/) where I endlessly looked at Bunny while he slept.

You must have noticed now I am actually actively blogging. For the first time in my blogging history I have unpublished posts lying in my drafts.

As far as bunny is concerned I have become obsessed with the following:

Trimming his finger and toe nails, which grows at lightening speed, I would have never thought babies nails grow so fast. At an average finger nails required trimming over in every four to five days or when you start noticing fresh scratches on baby’s face.

Cleaning his ears, just the external part with a ear bid dipped in oil, also the portion behind his ears.

Wiping the milk particles gathered around his neck folds.

Checking the space between his fingers where cloth particles usually sticks.

Cleaning other skin folds also, specially on thighs. Actually all the cleaning is necessary because as per his doc instruction we have still not started using any soap, body wash, talcum, baby lotion or anything else.We just give him a coconut oil massage and bath him in luke warm water. I believe the remnants of oil attracts dirt.

Parting his hair in funny ways and laughing alone at my creations.

Kissing him on cheeks, I thought of avoiding it but I have no control.

Playing with his fingers, making him hold my finger or his soft quilt.

Checking any signs when he wants to eliminate. Remember me mentioning elimination communication? It is this.

Whatsapping with friends.

Checking on TBH because he has been travelling quite a lot.

This would be continued as and when I find new ways to keep myself occupied when Bunny sleeps.

P.S did you notice where TBH landed in my list of priorities? My mother warned this might happen after a baby asking me of not let this happen. I conveniently ignored knowing I am too much in love with TBH to let this happen. But here I am checking on him when I have time, happily agreeing when he asks if he can sleep in other room as he has work to finish, missing him less and less when he is travelling. Need to seriously work on this.

I Saw, I Learnt

I am sharing what ‘I Saw and I Learnt‘ at BlogAdda.com in association with DoRight.in.

I have always believed that life is nothing but the chronicles of your interactions with the people you have met along the way; situations you have faced; experiences you have gathered and things you have learnt during the journey.

While reading about this initiative random memories kept flashing in my head. People, who have touched my life, inspired me and changed me as a person; Situations that altered the way of my life; Experiences that I would like to share.  Also there could be no better way of reliving those moments by putting this up on my blog.

Let me start this with the two people who are reason of my being, my parents. The way they have brought up me and my sister is commendable. We never had to ask for our personal space, we never had to fight for our freedom. They have always given us liberty to choose. They have let us make mistakes and fall down miserably even at the cost of their own pain only to be standing there to support us when needed. Though both are at quite influential positions in their respective careers but we were never given the shortcut in lives, we learnt everything from scratch and I think that’s the reason we are the way we are today. Independent, honest, not afraid to take challenges.

Then comes my Grandmother, she is a very traditional lady by all standards. Her appearance, her rigid customs, her religious obligations but I have learnt from her that you can follow your faith without interfering in others.  She has never forced her children/grand children to follow her ways; she has never ever differentiated between male – female child while all her counterparts did.

Then our beloved house help Durga; she actually lives up to her name.  She was married early to a drunkard husband and was abused often. Instead of blaming the fate for her situation she took the charge of her life in her hands for having a life of dignity for herself and her children. She left her husband’s home and rented a place for herself.  Enrolled her kids in a school, took up work and started earning.  Saved strategically and made a life for her children, now all of them are independent and want her to just live a life but she refuses to stop working. Surprising fact is she never thought about remarrying, she is not even filled with rage for her husband, she still follows all the traditions/customs/fast a married woman is suppose to, even supporting him financially every now and then. She is an inspiration to a lot of women in her community and to me for the immense dignity she possess.

There is another girl who comes in our house to study from my sister. She is barely 14, belonging to a poor family but she has a heart of gold. She teaches one need not be rich to be big hearted. During Diwali last year she mentioned that she will be going to a nearby fair (mela) with her friends. Mom gave her some 100 Rs. to get few things for herself. She always refuses anything we give her including food, clothes or money, he ego is too big to take stuff like that. But this time mom was adamant, forcing her to take it as Diwali blessings from elders. She took it reluctantly only to return next day with a gift for each of the 5 members in our family. Now what can you say on that, only these like this make you more humble towards life.

Then there was a faculty I used to go MBA coaching to. He left a very lucrative teaching job in a prestigious MBA training institute of the city because they stipulated fixed time per topic rather than making sure the students have understood or not. This faculty left a secured job only to start his own set up taking minimal fees to just meet the basic expenses of running the center. Seeing such passion and devotion to the art specially teaching makes you take life a bit more seriously and find your true calling.

When I started working I saw my manager taking special care of the old janitor of our floor washrooms. She would make sure the old lady had breakfast in the morning, making sure to check on her in the evening just in case she needs anything. Helping her in times of need and making sure she has enough money to continue her children education. Witnessing such act of kindness also make you the transmitters of them in your own life.

Then I married and saw the big heartedness of my in laws, the way they have made me the part of their family just the way I am. Not only washing off all my inhibitions of an arranged marriage scenario but inculcating that same open heartedness in me to take them and my extended family for just the way they are.

Recently we met with a small accident where we were being dragged unnecessarily, our swimming instructor happen to be in the same vicinity, not only he stood by us but bought his own gang in our support. Such selfless support, unconditional kindness warmed our hearts in the cold Delhi Life.

Then there are fellow bloggers who keep sharing their experiences of how they stick to traffic signals despite facing life threatening situations, how they found help in a foreign land from strangers, how small people are more helpful than the so called elite class. How small deeds make big difference. How most of them are trying to make a difference and sharing their life with the larger blogger community inspires a lot of people like us.

I can go on and on as I have been influenced by a lot of people to take up few things that make difference in other’s life but bring a great deal of satisfaction. But I think I will stop here today and leave you to observe goodness – kindness – rightness around. And I sincerely hope this initiative from Tata Capital goes a long way in inspiring a lot of people to take the first steps to Do Right and live a more meaningful life.