It’s been only seven months of being a mommy and I think I am, already a changed person. A couple of hours back we came back home after running few errands. I was very very hungry, the food was prepared already but I patiently waited to feed Bunny and he felt sleepy. I had to further wait to let him sleep soundly. The earlier me would not have done it at all, if not proper food, I would have asked TBH to put anything in my mouth.
In the afternoon right after when Bunny woke up from his nap, TBH was holding him. He made some funny noise and Bunny was totally startled. He started crying loudly, I came rushing, held him tight and calmed him down. It took him few minutes to come back to his normal self. The earlier me would have bombarded TBH with accusations.
In the same situation the earlier me would have started crying with Bunny. Infact I did cry in the initial few weeks, each and every time Bunny cried for no apparent reason.
It has made me a positive person, we are consciously working on creating positive environment for Bunny. And my faith is only getting stronger when I see how Bunny’s behaviour changes, catching our temperament on some specific days. For the very same reason you see me complaining less and less these days.
It has made me really grateful to God. When I hear about tough conceptions, tough pregnancies, difficult deliveries and postpartum period, i thank god for giving me a healthy pregnancy, healthy baby and a very supportive family. Despite being extremely over weight, despite having PCOS and despite not doing anything vigorously for my weight management.
It has made me strong and bold in very subtle ways. I think have become stronger just to let him face the big bad world out there and bold with regards to clearly mentioning my decisions and choices in bringing him up.
One thing I picked up early after being a mom was being less and less judgmental about parents and babies. Even a single casual remark about babies leave huge impact on the new parents, – has he lost weight, he cries a lot na, seems he is hungry, you don’t produce enough milk, his legs seems bent, how much he pees, etc etc. Like I said a causal unthoughtful remark from near strangers and your whole day is wasted in worrying about it. Each parent only wants best for the baby and if you have made certain choices for your comfort also, it’s completely fine. Moms are not Gods. And no criticism or opinion sharing unless I know the whole story.
And as an extension to the above point, I have a new found respect for my both set parents. What we are today, we owe it to them.
It has definitely made me a fast worker and a multi-Tasker. I realise I can do so much in so little time. Though the list of to dos is never ending, but nevertheless in Bunny’s multiple half an hour nap sessions I have started prioritising and dividing tasks to be more effective.
Started feeling less guilty for no fault of mine. If I am out with friends and Bunny needs to be fed, I don’t need apologise, or when I need to cut an important conversation because my baby has just pooped or when we are late because I dint want to disturb Bunny’s sleep. You get the drift right?
Also have learnt to be prepared for the unprepared. Like when you are almost ready to go out, everything has been perfect though out the day, you make the baby ready, you change yourself, the husband is ready, you take the keys, go to the lift and right there the baby poops with a big loud weird sound and weirder expression. And while changing diaper he not only gets dirty himself and needs a whole change of cloths but pees on your dress too. So being prepared for the unprepared is the key.
Last the feeling of letting it go, big biggest change so far. Letting go of a lot of glitches, fears, ego clashes, useless talks, taunts, unnecessary complaints just to make infinite space for love :