Tag Archives: Life

What motherhood has taught me!!!

It’s been only seven months of being a mommy and I think I am, already a changed person. A couple of hours back we came back home after running few errands. I was very very hungry, the food was prepared already but I patiently waited to feed Bunny and he felt sleepy. I had to further wait to let him sleep soundly. The earlier me would not have done it at all, if not proper food, I would have asked TBH to put anything in my mouth.

In the afternoon right after when Bunny woke up from his nap, TBH was holding him. He made some funny noise and Bunny was totally startled. He started crying loudly, I came rushing, held him tight and calmed him down. It took him few minutes to come back to his normal self. The earlier me would have bombarded TBH with accusations.

In the same situation the earlier me would have started crying with Bunny. Infact I did cry in the initial few weeks, each and every time Bunny cried for no apparent reason.

It has made me a positive person, we are consciously working on creating positive environment for Bunny. And my faith is only getting stronger when I see how Bunny’s behaviour changes, catching our temperament on some specific days. For the very same reason you see me complaining less and less these days.

It has made me really grateful to God. When I hear about tough conceptions, tough pregnancies, difficult deliveries and postpartum period, i thank god for giving me a healthy pregnancy, healthy baby and a very supportive family. Despite being extremely over weight, despite having PCOS and despite not doing anything vigorously for my weight management.

It has made me strong and bold in very subtle ways. I think have become stronger just to let him face the big bad world out there and bold with regards to clearly mentioning my decisions and choices in bringing him up.

One thing I picked up early after being a mom was being less and less judgmental about parents and babies. Even a single casual remark about babies leave huge impact on the new parents, – has he lost weight, he cries a lot na, seems he is hungry, you don’t produce enough milk, his legs seems bent, how much he pees, etc etc. Like I said a causal unthoughtful remark from near strangers and your whole day is wasted in worrying about it. Each parent only wants best for the baby and if you have made certain choices for your comfort also, it’s completely fine. Moms are not Gods. And no criticism or opinion sharing unless I know the whole story.

And as an extension to the above point, I have a new found respect for my both set parents. What we are today, we owe it to them.

It has definitely made me a fast worker and a multi-Tasker. I realise I can do so much in so little time. Though the list of to dos is never ending, but nevertheless in Bunny’s multiple half an hour nap sessions I have started prioritising and dividing tasks to be more effective.

Started feeling less guilty for no fault of mine. If I am out with friends and Bunny needs to be fed, I don’t need apologise, or when I need to cut an important conversation because my baby has just pooped or when we are late because I dint want to disturb Bunny’s sleep. You get the drift right?

Also have learnt to be prepared for the unprepared. Like when you are almost ready to go out, everything has been perfect though out the day, you make the baby ready, you change yourself, the husband is ready, you take the keys, go to the lift and right there the baby poops with a big loud weird sound and weirder expression. And while changing diaper he not only gets dirty himself and needs a whole change of cloths but pees on your dress too. So being prepared for the unprepared is the key.

Last the feeling of letting it go, big biggest change so far. Letting go of a lot of glitches, fears, ego clashes, useless talks, taunts, unnecessary complaints just to make infinite space for love :

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I have so much to say !!!!

On so many things and I am unable to do individual blog posts. So let me do a update kinda post again, will take up topics later if I feel.

On my obsession with facebook Mommy groups. They are nothing but addictive, there is a world of cloth diapers (thanks Prakatan for leaving me their like a kid in candy store), there is organic vs the usual baby carriers to chose from, then so many preloved baby stuff and knowing the uses of individual things, then groups where babies are discussed from their sleep to food to playtime to malish etc etc. This by far the biggest hindrance coming in my blogging, I am spending hours on these blogs just browsing, reading, getting to know.

The big maha dharmik Mahotsav I mentioned in my last to last post was a HUGE HUGE success. It was a six day affair and actually by the end day 10 k people gathered. The police troup on duty did a great job managing the crowd. Everybody congratulated my FIl for organising and hassle free management of the event, be it food, cleanliness, time management anything. It was a proud family moment. Bunny also managed just fine with the croud, noise, strangers touching him, he was in huge demand. I got a lot of compliments on having a fuss free baby. In other news the ladies consider even religious ceremony an opportunity to showcase their jewellery and saree. and a platform to scrutinise others on same, judge new moms like me on my each and every move, the way I hold him, dress him, put him sleep, play with him etc.

Also how I am a total failure when it comes to feeding in public even only when females are around. In the above function, I tried once and gave up. Either I would seek the privacy of our car or try to be in the hotel room I was putting up when ever feeding was due.

On TBH’s birthday where all my possible planning failed. I couldn’t make anything like I planned. The in,ine gift I ordered  arrived a week late, I couldn’t even bake a cake which I wanted, couldn’t order anything either, considering it was the next day after Diwali stores were closed. Still it turned out to be better than expected. We went for family lunch at Raddison, which was also Bunny’s first official food outing. He loved being their. And when we returned the whole extended family gathered at our place, it turned out to be an impromptu dinner with them. With the help of TBH’s cousin managed to get a cake by evening which was cut with the whole family. Then their were dhol wallas waiting downstairs (it is a kinda hindu tradition will find more and write) and everybody danced to their hearts content. While sleeping I gave TBH the bunch of letters I have been writing for his 30th birthday and we read together, they were thirty reasons I love him, thirty moments want to relive, thirty food memories, thirty reasons why tbh would be a great dad and lastly thirty things he should improve.

Then Bunny updates his antics, his playtime with everybody, his masti, him being an individual, his everything.

Then the ever growing Mommy feelings, proud moments, melting moments, guilty pangs etc etc.

and finally we are going Delhi,  I m happy and excited and slightly nervous about managing him alone in Delhi winters.  Wish me luck guys.

Warmth

Dhoop love

In that special corner of your home where sunrays fall
In the cut chai and endless conversations with friends
In simple dal – chawal meal from your mom’s kitchen
In old handwritten letters from your grandparents
In that almost torn quilt during winters
In that faded T and pyjama during nights
In the smell of your mothers cloths
In the happy hug from your sibling
In rereading a favourite book again and again
In sleeping on your spouse’s shoulder during a lazy afternoon
In the smell of something freshly baked
In old photos and memories they bring with them
In whatsapp group of all the cousins
In meeting the extended family during a wedding
In that box packed with old greeting cards
In snuggling with your kids
In celebrating ghar wali Diwali even when it means repeating age old rituals
In opening the lunch box from home packed for a train journey
In plucking fruits of labour from your kitchen garden
In old saree from your mom’s wardrobe
In the words of talented P from http://www.peppercornsinmypocket.blogspot.com

This post is actually a result of reading the warm, heart written blog of P where I landed from Haathi’s blog and spent hours together. Sitting in the corner where actually the sun rays fall. Eating a simple curd khichhdi meal and snuggling with Bunny and spending a a day just to be me and unwind a little.

Zaika Zindai Ka !!!

Zaika Zindai Ka !!!

Not even a day has passed since the a to z blogging challenge got over and I am already missing blogging. So here is something, I wanted to post under Z yesterday but the time constraint kept me at bay. Also the work was under progress, so here you go.

Google translation felt too cumbersome and wordpress hindi typing limitation made me to write it on paper with a real pen and scan it. Posting first time in Hindi, let me know how did you find it guys.

To be prepared !!! How much and how to !!!

Since morning, I have been feeling extremely tired and exhausted. I woke up with TBH’s sound of extreme coughing, though he is doing good today. In my attempt to write happy entries this month, I did not mention that TBH was diagnosed with mild typhoid around ten days back and was advised complete bed rest. I followed the doctor’s instructions to the T and now he is alright, in fact much better, resumed work since Monday.

I know typhoid is not a big deal, but illnesses and sicknesses in general have started to impact me a great deal these days. May be it’s the hormonal changes or coming to terms with the city life, or missing family phase or simply plain growing up. Somewhere in the background the reason is also a blog I read few months back and had to stop reading forcefully, I am forgetting the link, the name so unable to post the details. In short it was a writer’s blog who had a dream like life until one routine morning her 40 something husband felt sick (headache – vomiting – nausea) and died of a heartache within a matter of few minutes. The blog covers details of that morning and her journey thereafter. She also mentioned that only a couple of days her husband got a through health check up done and the reports came out clean, which came as a shock to me. 

Since last few weeks every now and then I get restless, spend sleepless nights thinking about all the action points I need to take if I am stuck in an emergency. The fact that all our friends and relatives in Delhi live at least on an hour’s drive doesn’t help my situation. Also this that I know total of zero people in our apartment aggravates the matter in my mind. I have saved all the emergency contacts, of nearby hospital, of our doctor and alike. I can’t sleep without my cellphone by my side. I have been pushing TBH to go for a full medical checkup since few days. We are only waiting for his typhoid to subside completely. His BP came slightly on the higher side twice last week, it might be because of the fever but now I think my BP is on a rise because of that. 

I need to keep all the emergency medicines in my bedside table, but I am afraid to ask family in case they get extra worried or suspicious. I am actually getting paranoid thinking all the things that can go wrong. That’s why this post. I needed to take this out of my system. And I need all your help to prepare me for such situations, all the people living alone, all the couples living away from family how to keep one ready? Or how to calm my mind? What medicines/ medical tools / emergency numbers you keep handy?

I have faced emergencies in my hometown, twice. I have come out much stronger in calamities to my own surprise. My dad used to call me in case of any such situation before Mom. Once I drove him to hospital in the middle of the night managing everything when he complained of chest pain. But there it is like we know everybody, ten people can come to be by your side in 2 minutes. It’s different matter that you actually call them or not, but at least there is an assurance of your people being there. But these days I am feeling very weak and struggling to come over such thoughts. Guys help out. 

Shaadi ke side effects – the husband’s version

I had planned to write about shaadi ke side effects today, about few things that have changed for me after marriage. Then on breakfast today, I casually asked TBH that what he feels have changed for him since our marriage. To my surprise he had a long list to mention. Suddenly my list seemed too emotional, mushy and touchy. I decided to go ahead and post his version. Though after every point he kept saying, my biwi is the best, I don’t face all this but I am talking from friend’s perspective. You are free to make your own assumptions, I would like to believe my husbandJ. So here are the few situations which changed for TBH after marriage.

Confirming choices: According to the husband, this is the most challenging change. Now what does he know about which shoes/bag go with which dress, which color curtains would suit our white wall, what should be menu for the dinner when guests are coming etc etc. Now these questions are not only thrown but a reasonable answer is also expected out of him.

[I am guilty of this, I have only him with me most of the times, so while shopping, while getting ready, while cooking, while making big purchases I keep on bugging him with similar questions. And when he answers a sacchi (?) follows, he is like why would I lie]

Bathroom shocks: Seeing your bathroom filled with stuff you never knew existed. Multiple hair products, different soaps, face washes and alike. He says that my bright orange body shower loofah constantly stares at him when he takes a bath :P. When he was a bachelor one soap would solve all the purpose.

Being answerable: Being answerable to mundane things, how long will you take? Why did you take so long? Kiska call tha? Kya bol rahe the?Kab soage? Kab uthoge? Etc etc.

[All I can say is I am not all that nagging, I ask some of the above questions only out of concern or curiosity]

Being critical about expenses: About phone bill, about car servicing, about laundry, eating out, restaurants bill etc.

[I promise, I am not at all into this, finance is all TBH’s matter]

Making multiple shopping trips: TBH is a kind of person, who would shop on a yearly basis, like before Diwali or before an important business trip. But now shopping trips are planned, and executed on a biweekly basis. Stocking stuff for future, buying stuff for different occasions. This all is so new to him.

During Cricket Matches: answering silly questions like who is playing, what is a no ball, what is free hit and then on a very critical point, listening to a panicky ‘suno’ and the dilemma of strategically answering it.

[I am not the one who says suno, I know sports is serious business for TBH, in fact I have developed interest and started being updated with cricket related news]

Language change: Consciously using sober language with friends and avoiding swear words.

[TBH is not the guy who uses them or have such words in his daily vocab, here again I had to stop using the F word and limit my cursing]

Few more:

  • Having a shoe rack at home.
  • Planning drinking days and outings and looking for occasions unlike before when it was like ‘jaha char yaar miljaye wahi rat hai gulzar’.
  • Having saloon appointments, getting a haircut in time and also exploring more services and spending more bucks while the wifey is getting her beauty treatments done.
  • Being from an all guys household, getting surprised with all the possible beauty products & services and fascination for nail paints.
  • And the toughest handling mood swings without ever getting the exact reason for the sudden emotional outburst.

What can I say!!! This only reminded me of this scene from the movie Pyar ka Punchnama, go watch the clip and you would know what I mean. I have always sympathized with the guys in similar situation. And somehow feels whatever the character says in the below scene is so true.  I know it’s no easy feat living with a female on 24*7 basis specially when she comes in the other half category and have full right on the Man.

Would love to hear the big – small changes you or your partner feels on a daily basis post shaadi?

Oops moments

All of us have our share of those embarrassing moments which turn out to be something to laugh about in later years of life. I particularly remember few incidents of my life which still friends and family use to pull my leg. 

Now this one is truly embarrassing, when I was really really small, just two and half year old, I came out of the room trying my mother’s inner wear, that too bra in particular, and was trying to put cotton where there should be some elevation . My mother had a shock of her life, she just managed to grab me before my grandfather could see me in that state.

During my second standard me and some building kids used to ride our cycles to piano classes. I was the only girl and the youngest. Our building was on a slope. One of the evenings while returning from the class, the guys managed to smoothly peddle the cycle in between two pillars (on one side of the road). I thought what a big deal, I should try that too. I did, only to totally overlook a hard iron cable in between those two pillars. I banged the pillar head on, falling off with few few bruises to boast about.

The same group used to go for swimming classes. So one fine day, we decided to pull in some money and have some eat out sessions in one of the road side joint on the way to our swimming. The same day our parents decided to check our progress, they followed us to the class. only to find us gorging on to some local food. We had a hard time convincing them that we actually planned to go to swimming after the little break :P. 

And then hits of hits, all those who know me are aware of the fact that I dislike dancing. It was one of my cousin’s wedding.There were very few youngsters to perform on the sangeet ceremony. I was emotionally blackmailed to do my bit that too right at the start of the ceremony. being the only sister and all. It was a very small piece of 2 minutes or so. I was so nervous that as soon as the music started, I started performing whatever moves were taught to me. And suddenly the music stopped in between. I was like what, and the organizer apologetically announced, sorry wrong song :P. Can you believe it, that was not even my song. My family had a hard time stopping their insane laughter and concentrating on next performance. All my plans to flirt/impress the bride’s handsome brothers went for a toss. 

In another marriage, Vidaai (farewell of the bride) was going on, everything was okay till the bride’s brother hugged her tightly and both of them started crying nonstop. In another corner of the room, another crying voice joined them. It was me, it was something about that scene that I could not stop myself, I started crying loudly. I was a newly wed then, i was attending first wedding after my marriage.  All my cousins looked at me followed by a  silence for few seconds and suddenly all of them started laughing together. And then someone said a midst laughter tears, she dint cry at all in her own wedding which was just two months back and see her now. 

I can add few more, but I can’t handle more embarrassment than this for a single day :P.