Last week LiFi wrote this post where she briefly mentions that how she managed things better when R worked from a different location because she knew what’s in store for her without any expectations. I can’t tell you how much her words resonated with what I have been going through these days.
Lately TBh has been travelling extensively and whenever he is away I am better off, I am generally happy, more energetic, better in handling bunny etc. Even when he is around he has loads of work in his kitty, both personal and professional commitments are keeping him extremely busy, but still I become this negative and nagging wife to him. I expect him to spent a lot of time with us knowing which is not possible as of now, I want him to help me with Bunny which is not actually necessary because I manage just fine without him. Worse still I expect him to do things without me even saying it loud, such a married women trait. And in response him asking the obvious, asking for something which is right in front of his eyes, such a married men trait.
On the other hand he is doing his best to accommodate me and Bunny in Delhi home without any troubles, in each of his visit he makes sure the home is clean and vacuumed and dust free. He has finally started to run the washing machine and hang the laundry, he has made our maid to put the various legumes, rice other dry groceries in sun and back in respective boxes, got the refrigerator clean, has asked me several times If I wanted any modification with regards to furniture placement for Bunny.
Still every time after his return I take a day or two to adjust and get back to my normal. I so don’t want these things between us, I just hate wasting time in fights, arguments and keeping mum. I know he is just occupied and never says no if I ask anything but sometimes I want things done without asking. Moreover I want him accustomed in handling Bunny, changing him, staying awake with him when required, in short except for feeding doing everything. Specially now when our return to Delhi is coming closer and there will be no more help from parents and i will have to take care of other household chores as well.
I don’t want our dynamics to change in anyway, I don’t like the negative me, I don’t like to bother him. I really need to work on me. Any suggestions in this regard?