Some of you are aware that my last blog post was from my parent’s place. Some of you are kind enough to drop me an email or a comment asking my whereabouts, thanks a ton guys. It’s in time like these that we realize how special our blog world is. Let me start it from where I left. For the first time since my marriage I was at my parent’s place for a month, minus a week when I stayed at my SIL’s place in between. Penning down some highlights from the trip.
Fasting – Feasting
Our annual fasts were about to start the next day I landed there. For the first time in around 15+ years of observing them, I was having a hard time managing my control. It has to do something with the heat and something with being at home. During all the past years I was either studying or working owing to which fasting was much easier but this time I was in home and also with my in laws for a week where I had to cook partially. I realized that in the name of control some people go over the board and get ten different items made because there are few we can’t have. Eating once during the day has to be the most unscientific way of eating. We end up consuming more oily/heavy food in those ten days. People get over finicky and hurt others behind the fasting veal. Because of hunger or mood swings or the compulsion to do certain poojas the temples become the most restless place during those ten days. Our religious gurus, well most of them, live in some earlier times and preach things which are not possible or even practical in today’s world. All in all not a good experience. And I am not sure if I am gonna observe them from next year, and even if I do not anywhere else than my place.
It’s overwhelming to see both of them getting old (no not that much) and managing their lives without you. Their small fights, their arguments, their discussions, their hard time managing the younger sibling, endless guests, their difference of opinions, their sharing their heart all touch you more. During one conversation I told this to mama, and she heard me. She totally got me, she said we lead a wonderful – busy lives. We have a beautiful family, we share a lovely relationship and still when the married daughter comes home, because of the love, relationship with the elder sibling, tuning we share; they end up sharing more issues with them and leave an impression that this is what their life is. In fact, it is far from that. She said it was the same case when she used to visit her parents and after that both of them really tried to change this.
She is my biggest weakness and I have never hidden that fact. Her each and every action has a ripple effect in my life. I lose my control, calmness and everything else when it comes to her. I am also guilty of over interfering in her life and somehow I can’t control that either. I am genuinely working on that problem. I know for sure she needs to learn few social behavior traits. She needs to be more available to her own family and learn to priorities better. She is always running out of time, misses a lot of family related activities, keeps on procrastinating simple tasks that dad asks her to do still almost every other day she spends some couple of hours watching her favorite shows. And most importantly I think she is required to add ‘Gratitude’ in her dictionary.
On a positive note, she has turned into such a beautiful, opinioned young woman. Her personal venture is going steady and the future looks promising. She has found a field where her heart lies and doing some great work there. For those who are interested she is a freelance photographer specializing in Kids Photography. She has the talent and the will, getting good response and is quite popular on Facebook. And it’s difficult to express how happy that makes me feel.
The reason I stayed there for so long was majorly because TBH had to travel for work, for longer duration this time. So I planned my classes, I took up 3 weeks training assignment at one of the institutes in my hometown. The response was good, students do get inspired by me and work accordingly but it’s them who have to make it going after that. The way they waste their precious student years learning nothing, yet dream about a job makes me go all red.
For everything else I need to learn to manage, there is a lot in my plate and constant travel and other engagements hampers my time management.
Meeting my People, Shopping and eating out
I made a big list of people I was looking forward to meet during this visit. Friends. Faculties. Alumni. Work Acquaintances. Few relatives. But all went on a toss first because of fasting, second in-laws extended stay, third undue rains, timing of my classes and lastly my constant mood swings for some reason or the other. I tried to compose myself during the last leg of my stay but it was getting difficult for me without TBH by my side. TBH is my stress buster. He keeps me grounded. He is my mood swing manager. He is the reason for my constant smile.
Shopping was also not to my heart’s content but I ended by buying few suits for Diwali time festivities. Eating out was also restricted. Could manage to explore only a couple of new places this time.
The end – Beautiful and Unexpected
TBH was due to come to my hometown during the last phase of his travel for some bank related formalities and we planned to travel together to Delhi. But his travel kept on getting extended, his arrival kept on getting delayed and when we could bear no more, we decided that I would join him in Chennai and planned a ten days work-leisure trip. My trip ended midway and I ended up buying one of the most expensive domestic travel ticket of my life.
Our trip looked something like this – Chennai – Pondicherry – Tutikorin – Munnar – Mangalore – Bangalore – Delhi. We covered Pondicherry and Munnar, both different style beautiful places. But Munnar – must visit, and a place I immediately fell in love with. I planned a candle light dinner for TBH with the hotel management in Munnar as an advance birthday treat, amidst valleys and soothing waterfall sound. It was one of the most beautiful time we spent together.
We reached home after a month and half on TBH’s birthday morning. Look who welcomed us in our bedrooms’ bathroom.
We managed to shift them without breaking in a shady area on our apartment roof, where they keep some water and food for birds.
One friend said – Tum nahi toh koi toh reh raha tha tumhare ghar par.
And 2-3 relatives said – it’s a very good sign. Now we don’t know about that. What do you think?
P.S – I have been reading all of your blogs, will resume regular blogging – commenting only post Diwali. We don’t even get to stay for a whole week at our home before we travelling again to TBH’s hometown for Diwali.