Slowly and gradually things are changing for me. I am feeling few modifications in my being. Just yesterday I was mentioning this to TBH that my guilt pangs have reduced drastically. I am transforming into a very content and satisfied stay at home partner.
I took my self proclaimed break from work when I shifted with TBH post marriage. Even after getting work opportunities I decided to continue the six months break. During this period I realized that working out of home for 12 – 13 hours including commute did not make sense to our lives. TBH works from home when not travelling. I decided not to add unwanted struggle to our lives and started looking for work from home options. I explored a few options and finally landed into TBH’s company which is based in another city, handling a particular division which resonates both with my liking and my background. But managing a remote resource is not an easy task, also when I am working from home for our own venture, the guest we host do not understand that concept. They take my time and my availability for granted. Apart from that I am into couple of other things which I can expand if I have the will to do so.
Until few months back I used to go down the guilt trips of not utilizing my talent, my education and my time in the right manner (basically not working in a corporate setup), I used to get negative kicks whenever I read some body from my circle updating about their new job/promotion/any official achievement.
But all that has somehow changed in past few months, I have been insanely travelling with TBH, I am okay to spend days reading or browsing the internet finding some interesting stuff. My kitchen time also increases manifold whenever I am in my happy mode. I have planned to join a couple of other courses of my liking. I plan to explore more of my city and travel around the world with TBH.
It’s not that these things can’t be managed with a job. But somehow I am feeling okay to devout my time in all that what I like wholeheartedly, I no more feel the guilt or the depression bouts. I dunno it’s a positive change or just a phase but that’s what I feel right now.
Interestingly it’s what I wanted my life to be always. I was never very ambitious, but during growing up years with all that padai, with seeing both partners working all the time, with loving my last job to the core, I thought that’s the only way to be. I had no idea I would have a lifestyle and a choice of not working full time and living a super happy content beautiful interesting life.
I also have a lot to say about this topic, the various view points, why I think it’s okay and other things but I want to break it in various posts. I would also like to understand and read more of this, I would like to know your experiences. Your view on this, your reason of working or not working. Your reason of choosing your life.