Starting from end

Of Last Post….

I ended the last post abruptly on a sad note, but happy to share that things are back to their normal loving self. I think coming back from Delhi turned in our favour, the family is elated to see Bunny and pampering him to the bits. The photographer sister is going nuts clicking him, her official fb page is full of his pics. And Bunny don’t even ask about him, as if coming back to his birthplace has made him doubly happy, he is such a non fussy happy kid, seeing his happiness has taken all my sad feelings away. Though Tbh is still not able to give time, but I could see him making efforts from that day, I am sure he will make it up for the missing time once we are back to our cucoon.

For me it’s always relaxing to be at your mothers place. And I need to thank my MIL too, not even once she questioned my wish to stay solely at my maiden home despite the fact that they were staying just a few km away and how Bunny attached she has become in last few months. Everything seems to be settled for good. We are almost through with wedding preps, the attires are decided, I got a suit of my liking with a big hole in TBH’s wallet ;p. I just need to work on the accessories part now.

Also meanwhile we had our third anniversary day before yesterday and we had a wonderful celebration with both side of family spending some great time together. It is true nothing can beat the happiness of being with family specially on important occasions of your life. Things are going good, I am back to my chirpy self and have decided to enjoy while I am here, meet friends, explore the new hang out places now that I am not worried about taking bunny out of home, also complete some pending tasks.

Leaving you with couple of pics that I have fallen in love with

TBH & I – Post Bunny

Last week LiFi wrote this post where she briefly mentions that how she managed things better when R worked from a different location because she knew what’s in store for her without any expectations. I can’t tell you how much her words resonated with what I have been going through these days.

Lately TBh has been travelling extensively and whenever he is away I am better off, I am generally happy, more energetic, better in handling bunny etc. Even when he is around he has loads of work in his kitty, both personal and professional commitments are keeping him extremely busy, but still I become this negative and nagging wife to him. I expect him to spent a lot of time with us knowing which is not possible as of now, I want him to help me with Bunny which is not actually necessary because I manage just fine without him. Worse still I expect him to do things without me even saying it loud, such a married women trait. And in response him asking the obvious, asking for something which is right in front of his eyes, such a married men trait.

On the other hand he is doing his best to accommodate me and Bunny in Delhi home without any troubles, in each of his visit he makes sure the home is clean and vacuumed and dust free. He has finally started to run the washing machine and hang the laundry, he has made our maid to put the various legumes, rice other dry groceries in sun and back in respective boxes, got the refrigerator clean, has asked me several times If I wanted any modification with regards to furniture placement for Bunny.

Still every time after his return I take a day or two to adjust and get back to my normal. I so don’t want these things between us, I just hate wasting time in fights, arguments and keeping mum. I know he is just occupied and never says no if I ask anything but sometimes I want things done without asking. Moreover I want him accustomed in handling Bunny, changing him, staying awake with him when required, in short except for feeding doing everything. Specially now when our return to Delhi is coming closer and there will be no more help from parents and i will have to take care of other household chores as well.

I don’t want our dynamics to change in anyway, I don’t like the negative me, I don’t like to bother him. I really need to work on me. Any suggestions in this regard?

Same ka same, change ka change

You know those usual calculations and guessing games when a newborn comes home?

‘Nak kis par gyi hai?
‘Aakhe toh bilkul tumhare jaisi hai’
‘Kahi bal tumpar na chale jaye’

You get the drift? But at our place these talks never took place. From day one everyone who meets Bunny and has seen TBH says ditto TBH. And someone who have not met TBH asks on whom he has taken over?

The expressions we mostly get to hear are xerox copy of papa; ditto dad; chhotu TBH; ekdum papa, junior TBH; etc, etc.

And sometimes when I see both of them sleeping side by side I can’t help but notice same ka same, change ka change :). And I only wish along from looks Bunny completely takes over his dad in terms of personality too, TBH is gem of a person. I wished for this through our my pregnancy. Let’s see what’s in store for me.

Leaving you with a pic to see yourself

Bunny with Dad

Wedding Invitation

I am suppose to write e-wedding invitation content for a friend this week, while working on it I thought of sharing my own e-wedding invite with you guys. I emailed the below version to all the friends and office people. Got a lot of compliments for being brutally honest in it, so much so that the content of my invite was even discussed in my year end review :). Let me know how do you find it?

P.S – Sorry for the poor editing to maintain the anonymity. Had no time. 

 

PPS- I wrote the second para more being the wistful me but after being married for 2+ years, I can proudly & happily say it has turned out to be cent percent true for me. :). 

Shaadi ke side effects – the husband’s version

I had planned to write about shaadi ke side effects today, about few things that have changed for me after marriage. Then on breakfast today, I casually asked TBH that what he feels have changed for him since our marriage. To my surprise he had a long list to mention. Suddenly my list seemed too emotional, mushy and touchy. I decided to go ahead and post his version. Though after every point he kept saying, my biwi is the best, I don’t face all this but I am talking from friend’s perspective. You are free to make your own assumptions, I would like to believe my husbandJ. So here are the few situations which changed for TBH after marriage.

Confirming choices: According to the husband, this is the most challenging change. Now what does he know about which shoes/bag go with which dress, which color curtains would suit our white wall, what should be menu for the dinner when guests are coming etc etc. Now these questions are not only thrown but a reasonable answer is also expected out of him.

[I am guilty of this, I have only him with me most of the times, so while shopping, while getting ready, while cooking, while making big purchases I keep on bugging him with similar questions. And when he answers a sacchi (?) follows, he is like why would I lie]

Bathroom shocks: Seeing your bathroom filled with stuff you never knew existed. Multiple hair products, different soaps, face washes and alike. He says that my bright orange body shower loofah constantly stares at him when he takes a bath :P. When he was a bachelor one soap would solve all the purpose.

Being answerable: Being answerable to mundane things, how long will you take? Why did you take so long? Kiska call tha? Kya bol rahe the?Kab soage? Kab uthoge? Etc etc.

[All I can say is I am not all that nagging, I ask some of the above questions only out of concern or curiosity]

Being critical about expenses: About phone bill, about car servicing, about laundry, eating out, restaurants bill etc.

[I promise, I am not at all into this, finance is all TBH’s matter]

Making multiple shopping trips: TBH is a kind of person, who would shop on a yearly basis, like before Diwali or before an important business trip. But now shopping trips are planned, and executed on a biweekly basis. Stocking stuff for future, buying stuff for different occasions. This all is so new to him.

During Cricket Matches: answering silly questions like who is playing, what is a no ball, what is free hit and then on a very critical point, listening to a panicky ‘suno’ and the dilemma of strategically answering it.

[I am not the one who says suno, I know sports is serious business for TBH, in fact I have developed interest and started being updated with cricket related news]

Language change: Consciously using sober language with friends and avoiding swear words.

[TBH is not the guy who uses them or have such words in his daily vocab, here again I had to stop using the F word and limit my cursing]

Few more:

• Having a shoe rack at home.
• Planning drinking days and outings and looking for occasions unlike before when it was like ‘jaha char yaar miljaye wahi rat hai gulzar’.
• Having saloon appointments, getting a haircut in time and also exploring more services and spending more bucks while the wifey is getting her beauty treatments done.
• Being from an all guys household, getting surprised with all the possible beauty products & services and fascination for nail paints.
• And the toughest handling mood swings without ever getting the exact reason for the sudden emotional outburst.

What can I say!!! This only reminded me of this scene from the movie Pyar ka Punchnama, go watch the clip and you would know what I mean. I have always sympathized with the guys in similar situation. And somehow feels whatever the character says in the below scene is so true.  I know it’s no easy feat living with a female on 24*7 basis specially when she comes in the other half category and have full right on the Man.

Would love to hear the big – small changes you or your partner feels on a daily basis post shaadi?

Conversations with TBH

Disclaimer: some dialogues may seem gross to some of you. 

Yesterday evening we were having some relaxed time with TBH in front TV where Indian team was beating Bangladesh in the recent cricket league and I was engrossed in a book. 

And that’s how the conversation went on:

Me to TBH: Honey, do you agree I cut your nails from time to time? (because he is just so lazy as far as nail cutting is concerned, and i can’t handle dirty nails) 

TBH: hmmm

Me: Do you agree that I also regularly color your hair? (Because I feel the unkempt hair and grayness, before age makes one look always unfresh/dull)

TBH: hmm

Me: And you know how handy my nails come when you you are unable to reach some itching points? (He has some serious love for getting itched specially on back, if it goes his way he can make me do it for hours together, and the satisfactory sounds he creates when i hit the exact point has to be censored from this space. 😛  )

TBH: hmm

Me: Also, do you know I take out your blackheads too? (Simply because I love doing it, it gives me different kind of high, yes I am weird that way)

TBH: hmm

Me: So this one time, would you mind removing my toe nail paint? I am not feeling up to it. (Because I have been planning and procrastinating it since a week, and i so want to change the nail color)

TBH: Not at all !!!!

And here I was half hoping he would say hmm only, and believing till now that we have a equal partnership relation. I seriously need to make some rules clear with him. Any suggestion on that front?

We, our life!!!

An hour back I woke up from my afternoon slumber (okay, I know it went well beyond the afternoon). I slept in TBH’s arms, cuddling and kissing him every now and then; and woke up to him caressing me lovingly. A serene smile spread over my face, which refused to go for a while. I kept on wondering what a bliss it is for not celebrating togetherness on some special occasions but it being your life. How beautiful life is with TBH and I being together most of the time. Eating each meal together, creating memories, living a fun fulfilled life.

I have mentioned it before that the kind of routine we follow is slightly different from the norm. We both work out of home, we have a room dedicated as office but there is no restriction on us. Actually for TBH it should he works on his phone.TBH keep on having some local meetings on some days but that doesn’t actually count in the large picture. As far as his work travel is concerned, mostly I accompany him or I travel to someplace else (visiting both set of parents etc). There are ample of advantages of being your own boss.  

When I started of this life leaving my full time job, a lot of my people showed concerned that being together all the time may fade out our relationship. We may get bored of each other’s company. But surprisingly just the opposite has happened. I feel our love keeps on increasing exponentially. We have become so comfortable around each other that there is absolutely nothing that brings any strife between us. Needless to mention we hardly fight and I believe understand each other in and out. We get more time to do together activities, we discuss everything and anything under the sun etc. etc.

Though there are certain disadvantages to it as well.  We can’t boast about the kind of social circle working people have. Our weekends are also mostly us exploring places. Few friends we have from earlier jobs/college are too busy in their own lives and stay very far. Dressing up socially is gradually losing its meaning for me. And the activities/workshops/talks my previous workplace used to organize, I miss that the most. A lot of our vacation plans gets cancelled due to TBH’s nature of business. Also his business colleagues are well beyond our age or choice of people we want to hang out with. Sometimes lack of routine makes you waste more time than buzy-ness. Yes, we do get regular dose of hosting guests which breaks the monotony but they also take us for granted considering we don’t need to rush to office or follow a fixed routine.

But honestly I love the way it is. When I hear about couples not being able to spend enough quality time with each other which in some cases takes a toll over marriage and relationship, I send a silent prayer up there. When I hear about concepts like weekend couples/parents it somewhere breaks my heart. When I see old parents living a colorless dull life because their children are not able to visit them regularly, I just can’t thank god enough for all the fun family times we have.  This is not to draw comparisons or prove a point. But just to keep a record of what I felt today and thanking the almighty for giving us the opportunity to choose the way we want to live without major obligations or responsibilities to direct our life.  I think this works perfectly for me. Actually I couldn’t have asked for more. May be I am a cut out for this kind of life.  And I am totally in love with it. I love our togetherness. 

Joys of July

Disclaimer: A very long post ahead of happy July. 

I know it is the same month when I cribbed about a whole screwed week. It’s also the same month when I added undue pressure on myself and TBH for my birthday celebrations and ended up spoiling some precious moments. It the same month when the Sister’s much awaited internship did not turn out the way we wanted and she left in between. It is also the month when I was worried about managing endless guests.

But it also happened to be one of the most fulfilling and memorable month. Snippets of the Joys, July bought with itself.

It is the month when I got to know about yet another side of TBH – compassion. I mean he is a gem of a person in all aspects but don’t all of us have some or the other genuine reason to excuse ourselves from some responsibilities. But not him. His going out of the way to help/support our relatives in the time of their need. Making their stay, their treatment, and their multiple hospital visits as comfortable as possible. He could have easily asked them to manage on their own, but he made sure that either I or he himself was with them all the time. Personally going to doctors and consulting in length. Actually I can just go on and on with praises for my better half. Let me stop this here.

It is the same month when the sister learnt a great deal in her not so good internship. She was flustered when she left but later it all turned out to be okay. She learnt to be independent, she understood she has great potential to do well in her chosen path. She became clearer to pursue her dreams. She became better in handling people. She understood what not to do when you call interns. She became far more driven then she was before coming here.

I and TBH got numerous praises and specially blessings to be there with our relatives when it was required. Both side parents were exceptionally proud of us. It feels nice to be appreciated that way. To know that you have the heart and capability to make difference in someone else’s life.

Having guests is an amazing learning experience as well, it teaches you a lot of things about yourself, it builds immense patience, and it teaches you to manage time accommodating someone else’s schedule too. It gives you a window to other people’s lives, it makes you learn from their experience. It teaches you humility and a lot more.

Movie wise it couldn’t have been better. We caught two movies in the PVR Director’s Cut screen, which was an experience in itself and to top it all both the movies – Lootera and Bhag Milkha Bhag turned out to be great ones in their own special ways.

Cakes and more. In all I guess I had three – four cakes this month. Two on my birthday. And one a basic sponge cake I baked a day prior to my day. And we had multiple pastries at different outlets on different days. Luckily they all turned out to be great. I have a big sweet tooth I tell you.

Coffee dates with TBH which TBH lovingly refers to as ‘Coffee with Biwi’.  These are the days I love the most and wait for the most. No they aren’t planned days but random surprise dates according to our whim and fancy. These are the times when we both listen to each other, when we have heart to heart conversations with each other. When we simply spend some genuine good time together. A couple of days after my birthday, TBH took me to the tea café cum lounge of the Taj Hotel here in Delhi. And the time we spent there and the peaceful drive we had refreshed my mood immensely.

Continuing on the Food part, this month we explored some amazing food options as well. Because more than often we end up eating at our favorite joints only. Last weekend, we had dinner at ‘Gulati’ in South Delhi, which I would highly recommend if you are fan of Indian food. Also at ‘Sattvik’ another Indian restaurant in Select City Walk, South Delhi. Both turned out to be beyond our expectations. And we have plans to go to Little Italy sometime soon. I haven’t tried the Delhi Branch, I was a huge fan of theirs in Hyderabad.  I am not much fan of Indian food when eating out but recently I have got very vary of smells in various restaurants and ended up going to the above. We also had the veg zinger burger at KFC and I have definitely liked it a lot.  

Surprises and Stay, you remember how my birthday was not the way I expected and I cribbed about it. But TBH has planned it to perfection only he could not execute it due to overstay of our guests. So the last weekend when I posted a couple of happy posts, he was bringing his plan into action. He booked this luxury hotel attached to one of the biggest shopping and food destinations in Delhi and somehow managed to do it in total secrecy. He took me there Friday afternoon and we had some great time together till Sunday afternoon. It was my kind of celebration – Love, Sex, Shopping, Swimming, Sleeping, Food, Ice creams, some more love, love notes and a lot of smiles, all put together in two relaxed days.

Continuing his trend what could have been the best way to say thank you to the husband. A surprise candle light dinner at our very own balcony. When TBH was out for a meeting day before yesterday, I surprised him by prepping up our otherwise boring balcony with some basic stuff – Two chairs, table, colorful cushions and spreads, side table with food, homemade chocolate mug cake with choc sauce, icecream and some of our favorite songs lined up in the music player. And off course a thank you + Love note. He was totally surprised and was very happy. Ye tumhari meri baatein, humesha yuhi chalti rahe

He also sent me a courier knowing my love for receiving things via post. A very pleasing perfume which I wanted of his choice only.

My reading list had Shiva Trilogy for this month. Not only I completed all the three books but loved it. Now I am keener to read more stuff.

Work related, things are in a great shape. I am able to get a lot of work of my liking as well as something which is commercially viable too. Though I did not give as much time I wanted to but I know I have finally created a niche and can scale it up when I have time. More importantly my mind has again got back to the working gear churning good ideas.

Not to forget the news shared by my Bestie one who became a mother and also the other one expecting and ready to shift to a new city post-delivery where after two plus years of marriage she will be able to create a life of her own away from her very strange in laws.

Also my beloved and very talented MIL has been selected for a national level award. The celebrations has just begun.

I know this has turned out much longer than expected. But I can’t end the Joys of July without mentioning the feeling I am getting after successfully accomplishing this self-imposed blogging challenge. Setting a target and completing it on my own is a big thing for me. I am known to wander around a lot. But this time I did it, I know it’s the positive effects of being in the company of the better half.

Ending it with a thank you to all of you, you guys have been a great source of both encouragement and support throughout this month. I have bored you, overloaded you but I continue to do so :). May be not daily but very regularly indeed. Hope you guys do not run away.

The kind of guy I wanted to marry

Just stumbled upon this today from my old hard disk. When earlier asked about what kind of guy I wanted to marry, I used to give the below list half true, half wistful; people used to call me crazy for such a reply but in all honesty that was the kind of guy I wanted. 

In bullet points:

•  A great guy (in all the senses good natured, friendly, helpful, sensitive, responsible etc. etc.)
• A family guy (families are important to me and being good to people is one of the most important quality I wanted from the guy I would eventually marry), I always wanted someone who would take responsibility of my family with equal zest as being just two daughters I was always worried about this fact, I always wanted to be reachable and available for my family without any obligations or ahsan jatao scenarios. And moreover I love big family get to gathers, family weddings, celebrations etc. 
• Someone who is a decision maker (wrong or right doesn’t matter but someone who is able to think sensibly and take decisions when required and sticking to it irrespective of the consequences because I for one cannot take decisions, I mean I am very poor at it, take eternity even to decide smallest of the things and then repent over them for another lifetime)
• Someone who is a sports freak to give my Dad some company where both his daughters failed miserably.
• Someone who loves movies, and can’t say no to re watch some favorites every now and then.
• Someone who loves food (First because I love food, cooking, eating out, trying new places, new food, in short everything that has to do with food; and over the years I have realized people who love food are very compassionate people and are mostly fun people.)  
• Someone who loves Driving: because I love being on the roads sitting next to the driver, I love the convenience of road travel, travelling without planning, short weekend trips, even sleeping while on roads etc. etc.
• Someone who is settled in his career, because I knew I would be struggling for few more years I did not want the pressure of handling two career growths simultaneously.
• Someone who’s Job allows him to travel the world and he is ready to take me along to all the places, open-minded enough to let me be on my own, to take control, to roam around and responsible and alert enough to find me when I am lost, which happens quite often as far as me is concerned. 

It was written long before TBH came into my life. People used to tag me over dreamy especially for the last two points, I used to listen to OHW get real, OHW marriages aisi nhi hoti from the likes of caring Bhabhi’s and Didis. My mom just used to laugh over me, sister used to give me looks like you emofool.

But guess my manifestation for such companion overpowered everything and I actually got a husband like that. Exactly like all the above mentioned things plus some more great characters which are hard to put in words. I feel blessed in my marriage and I know for sure it was manifestation and nothing else considering how much I tried not to marry him without knowing him even a bit.

To TBH,

Just wanted to thank you and let you know how much I love you for sticking with me through thick and thin. And after all, making me land in this dream world as against the bitter soup I prepared for myself in past years. Love you loads HONEY!!!!!

And all set to make our world more beautiful place ‘TOGETHER’ and experience what all it has in store for US.

Your,

Permanent Live- In partner

Before the day ends….

Let me pen this down that a day which started on a very bad note ended beautifully, all thanks to the amazing husband I got.

I mean I can’t thank this man enough for bearing me. I have been my cribbing best, crying best lately. For past few days I have been upset, irritated, bothered for no apparent reason. My recent blog posts also display the same restless and disturbing emotion.

Today even after shouting at him, and denying him breakfast, he decided to spend the day with me and took me to my birthday shopping, where I dint get any stuff i planned to but this guy indulged me with my favourite chocolates, food and encouraged me to do some special shopping which I never dared to do earlier and the best part was he took me to the movie Lootera in PVR director’s cut cinemas. Wow and I can’t tell you what a experience it was. It’s like the business class of cinemas and the tickets were very very expensive but I would say worth it, specially for movie buffs like us. Adding to it we loved the movie, and the food that we ordered.

All i want to say is the ending to an otherwise sad day couldn’t be better, I love this guy, more so each passing day.