Tag Archives: TBH

Starting from end

Of Last Post….

I ended the last post abruptly on a sad note, but happy to share that things are back to their normal loving self. I think coming back from Delhi turned in our favour, the family is elated to see Bunny and pampering him to the bits. The photographer sister is going nuts clicking him, her official fb page is full of his pics. And Bunny don’t even ask about him, as if coming back to his birthplace has made him doubly happy, he is such a non fussy happy kid, seeing his happiness has taken all my sad feelings away. Though Tbh is still not able to give time, but I could see him making efforts from that day, I am sure he will make it up for the missing time once we are back to our cucoon.

For me it’s always relaxing to be at your mothers place. And I need to thank my MIL too, not even once she questioned my wish to stay solely at my maiden home despite the fact that they were staying just a few km away and how Bunny attached she has become in last few months. Everything seems to be settled for good. We are almost through with wedding preps, the attires are decided, I got a suit of my liking with a big hole in TBH’s wallet ;p. I just need to work on the accessories part now.

Also meanwhile we had our third anniversary day before yesterday and we had a wonderful celebration with both side of family spending some great time together. It is true nothing can beat the happiness of being with family specially on important occasions of your life. Things are going good, I am back to my chirpy self and have decided to enjoy while I am here, meet friends, explore the new hang out places now that I am not worried about taking bunny out of home, also complete some pending tasks.

Leaving you with couple of pics that I have fallen in love with

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TBH & I – Post Bunny

Last week LiFi wrote this post where she briefly mentions that how she managed things better when R worked from a different location because she knew what’s in store for her without any expectations. I can’t tell you how much her words resonated with what I have been going through these days.

Lately TBh has been travelling extensively and whenever he is away I am better off, I am generally happy, more energetic, better in handling bunny etc. Even when he is around he has loads of work in his kitty, both personal and professional commitments are keeping him extremely busy, but still I become this negative and nagging wife to him. I expect him to spent a lot of time with us knowing which is not possible as of now, I want him to help me with Bunny which is not actually necessary because I manage just fine without him. Worse still I expect him to do things without me even saying it loud, such a married women trait. And in response him asking the obvious, asking for something which is right in front of his eyes, such a married men trait.

On the other hand he is doing his best to accommodate me and Bunny in Delhi home without any troubles, in each of his visit he makes sure the home is clean and vacuumed and dust free. He has finally started to run the washing machine and hang the laundry, he has made our maid to put the various legumes, rice other dry groceries in sun and back in respective boxes, got the refrigerator clean, has asked me several times If I wanted any modification with regards to furniture placement for Bunny.

Still every time after his return I take a day or two to adjust and get back to my normal. I so don’t want these things between us, I just hate wasting time in fights, arguments and keeping mum. I know he is just occupied and never says no if I ask anything but sometimes I want things done without asking. Moreover I want him accustomed in handling Bunny, changing him, staying awake with him when required, in short except for feeding doing everything. Specially now when our return to Delhi is coming closer and there will be no more help from parents and i will have to take care of other household chores as well.

I don’t want our dynamics to change in anyway, I don’t like the negative me, I don’t like to bother him. I really need to work on me. Any suggestions in this regard?

Same ka same, change ka change

You know those usual calculations and guessing games when a newborn comes home?

‘Nak kis par gyi hai?
‘Aakhe toh bilkul tumhare jaisi hai’
‘Kahi bal tumpar na chale jaye’

You get the drift? But at our place these talks never took place. From day one everyone who meets Bunny and has seen TBH says ditto TBH. And someone who have not met TBH asks on whom he has taken over?

The expressions we mostly get to hear are xerox copy of papa; ditto dad; chhotu TBH; ekdum papa, junior TBH; etc, etc.

And sometimes when I see both of them sleeping side by side I can’t help but notice same ka same, change ka change :). And I only wish along from looks Bunny completely takes over his dad in terms of personality too, TBH is gem of a person. I wished for this through our my pregnancy. Let’s see what’s in store for me.

Leaving you with a pic to see yourself

Bunny with Dad

Bunny with Dad

Wedding Invitation

I am suppose to write e-wedding invitation content for a friend this week, while working on it I thought of sharing my own e-wedding invite with you guys. I emailed the below version to all the friends and office people. Got a lot of compliments for being brutally honest in it, so much so that the content of my invite was even discussed in my year end review :). Let me know how do you find it?

P.S – Sorry for the poor editing to maintain the anonymity. Had no time. 

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PPS- I wrote the second para more being the wistful me but after being married for 2+ years, I can proudly & happily say it has turned out to be cent percent true for me. :). 

Shaadi ke side effects – the husband’s version

I had planned to write about shaadi ke side effects today, about few things that have changed for me after marriage. Then on breakfast today, I casually asked TBH that what he feels have changed for him since our marriage. To my surprise he had a long list to mention. Suddenly my list seemed too emotional, mushy and touchy. I decided to go ahead and post his version. Though after every point he kept saying, my biwi is the best, I don’t face all this but I am talking from friend’s perspective. You are free to make your own assumptions, I would like to believe my husbandJ. So here are the few situations which changed for TBH after marriage.

Confirming choices: According to the husband, this is the most challenging change. Now what does he know about which shoes/bag go with which dress, which color curtains would suit our white wall, what should be menu for the dinner when guests are coming etc etc. Now these questions are not only thrown but a reasonable answer is also expected out of him.

[I am guilty of this, I have only him with me most of the times, so while shopping, while getting ready, while cooking, while making big purchases I keep on bugging him with similar questions. And when he answers a sacchi (?) follows, he is like why would I lie]

Bathroom shocks: Seeing your bathroom filled with stuff you never knew existed. Multiple hair products, different soaps, face washes and alike. He says that my bright orange body shower loofah constantly stares at him when he takes a bath :P. When he was a bachelor one soap would solve all the purpose.

Being answerable: Being answerable to mundane things, how long will you take? Why did you take so long? Kiska call tha? Kya bol rahe the?Kab soage? Kab uthoge? Etc etc.

[All I can say is I am not all that nagging, I ask some of the above questions only out of concern or curiosity]

Being critical about expenses: About phone bill, about car servicing, about laundry, eating out, restaurants bill etc.

[I promise, I am not at all into this, finance is all TBH’s matter]

Making multiple shopping trips: TBH is a kind of person, who would shop on a yearly basis, like before Diwali or before an important business trip. But now shopping trips are planned, and executed on a biweekly basis. Stocking stuff for future, buying stuff for different occasions. This all is so new to him.

During Cricket Matches: answering silly questions like who is playing, what is a no ball, what is free hit and then on a very critical point, listening to a panicky ‘suno’ and the dilemma of strategically answering it.

[I am not the one who says suno, I know sports is serious business for TBH, in fact I have developed interest and started being updated with cricket related news]

Language change: Consciously using sober language with friends and avoiding swear words.

[TBH is not the guy who uses them or have such words in his daily vocab, here again I had to stop using the F word and limit my cursing]

Few more:

  • Having a shoe rack at home.
  • Planning drinking days and outings and looking for occasions unlike before when it was like ‘jaha char yaar miljaye wahi rat hai gulzar’.
  • Having saloon appointments, getting a haircut in time and also exploring more services and spending more bucks while the wifey is getting her beauty treatments done.
  • Being from an all guys household, getting surprised with all the possible beauty products & services and fascination for nail paints.
  • And the toughest handling mood swings without ever getting the exact reason for the sudden emotional outburst.

What can I say!!! This only reminded me of this scene from the movie Pyar ka Punchnama, go watch the clip and you would know what I mean. I have always sympathized with the guys in similar situation. And somehow feels whatever the character says in the below scene is so true.  I know it’s no easy feat living with a female on 24*7 basis specially when she comes in the other half category and have full right on the Man.

Would love to hear the big – small changes you or your partner feels on a daily basis post shaadi?

Conversations with TBH

Disclaimer: some dialogues may seem gross to some of you. 

Yesterday evening we were having some relaxed time with TBH in front TV where Indian team was beating Bangladesh in the recent cricket league and I was engrossed in a book. 

And that’s how the conversation went on:

Me to TBH: Honey, do you agree I cut your nails from time to time? (because he is just so lazy as far as nail cutting is concerned, and i can’t handle dirty nails) 

TBH: hmmm

Me: Do you agree that I also regularly color your hair? (Because I feel the unkempt hair and grayness, before age makes one look always unfresh/dull)

TBH: hmm

Me: And you know how handy my nails come when you you are unable to reach some itching points? (He has some serious love for getting itched specially on back, if it goes his way he can make me do it for hours together, and the satisfactory sounds he creates when i hit the exact point has to be censored from this space. 😛  )

TBH: hmm

Me: Also, do you know I take out your blackheads too? (Simply because I love doing it, it gives me different kind of high, yes I am weird that way)

TBH: hmm

Me: So this one time, would you mind removing my toe nail paint? I am not feeling up to it. (Because I have been planning and procrastinating it since a week, and i so want to change the nail color)

TBH: Not at all !!!!

And here I was half hoping he would say hmm only, and believing till now that we have a equal partnership relation. I seriously need to make some rules clear with him. Any suggestion on that front?

We, our life!!!

An hour back I woke up from my afternoon slumber (okay, I know it went well beyond the afternoon). I slept in TBH’s arms, cuddling and kissing him every now and then; and woke up to him caressing me lovingly. A serene smile spread over my face, which refused to go for a while. I kept on wondering what a bliss it is for not celebrating togetherness on some special occasions but it being your life. How beautiful life is with TBH and I being together most of the time. Eating each meal together, creating memories, living a fun fulfilled life.

I have mentioned it before that the kind of routine we follow is slightly different from the norm. We both work out of home, we have a room dedicated as office but there is no restriction on us. Actually for TBH it should he works on his phone.TBH keep on having some local meetings on some days but that doesn’t actually count in the large picture. As far as his work travel is concerned, mostly I accompany him or I travel to someplace else (visiting both set of parents etc). There are ample of advantages of being your own boss.  

When I started of this life leaving my full time job, a lot of my people showed concerned that being together all the time may fade out our relationship. We may get bored of each other’s company. But surprisingly just the opposite has happened. I feel our love keeps on increasing exponentially. We have become so comfortable around each other that there is absolutely nothing that brings any strife between us. Needless to mention we hardly fight and I believe understand each other in and out. We get more time to do together activities, we discuss everything and anything under the sun etc. etc.

Though there are certain disadvantages to it as well.  We can’t boast about the kind of social circle working people have. Our weekends are also mostly us exploring places. Few friends we have from earlier jobs/college are too busy in their own lives and stay very far. Dressing up socially is gradually losing its meaning for me. And the activities/workshops/talks my previous workplace used to organize, I miss that the most. A lot of our vacation plans gets cancelled due to TBH’s nature of business. Also his business colleagues are well beyond our age or choice of people we want to hang out with. Sometimes lack of routine makes you waste more time than buzy-ness. Yes, we do get regular dose of hosting guests which breaks the monotony but they also take us for granted considering we don’t need to rush to office or follow a fixed routine.

But honestly I love the way it is. When I hear about couples not being able to spend enough quality time with each other which in some cases takes a toll over marriage and relationship, I send a silent prayer up there. When I hear about concepts like weekend couples/parents it somewhere breaks my heart. When I see old parents living a colorless dull life because their children are not able to visit them regularly, I just can’t thank god enough for all the fun family times we have.  This is not to draw comparisons or prove a point. But just to keep a record of what I felt today and thanking the almighty for giving us the opportunity to choose the way we want to live without major obligations or responsibilities to direct our life.  I think this works perfectly for me. Actually I couldn’t have asked for more. May be I am a cut out for this kind of life.  And I am totally in love with it. I love our togetherness.